loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
