uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
