Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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