Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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