Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
