I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
