if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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