So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
