brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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