apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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