I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
