dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
