They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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