I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
