even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
