how can u be prego again
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
