The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
