We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
