Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
