Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize