Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We're like a lot better than the average bears
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
