Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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