Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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