Who did Billy Mays play for?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They took my balls.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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