How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
