he thought i was a dude.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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