Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
