how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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