Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
