he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize