She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize