she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
