whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
