last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
