WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize