Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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