She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize