so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
