...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
