turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize