i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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