better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
