lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
