I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize