I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
