So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
