at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
