my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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