I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
