hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
