it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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