made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
