It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How external is "for external use only"?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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