i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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