We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How does one acquire holy water?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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