K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
