the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
