That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
