Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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