You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I forget how to act sober
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
