Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Soap is not a condiment
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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