fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
