for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my sisters under your porch take her home
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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