How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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