can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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