youre lurking in front of me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
