please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
