she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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