woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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