I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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