People with herpes should wear stickers.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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