Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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