see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
