Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
